Secret GardensCategory: General   Feb 21st 2011  09:39AM   0

 Something in my work that's like a bee in my bonnet is it seems that everyone who does work involving eroticism all get thrown together under one category - like everyone does the same things and with the same intentions. It drives me crazy.

 I am very fortunate. You all, my clients,  are really great and we are on the same page. I've always been into spirituality and alternative health and art and play and creative self-exploration.  I've always wanted to know how to have the fullest experience possible of our life force energy. I like because a certain expectation is not there that I can settle in and teach the great things that have been passed onto me, or guide you into an incredibly relaxed state where you can go sensually where you haven't gone before, or that I can just talk with you about your life and apply my wide skills to help you out, or because it's outside of the box - facilitate you having an experience that you haven't had before.

 It's hard to talk to people I just meet about my work. I say I am an alternative health counselor, which I consider myself to be but the details I leave out. I know the score. I know that the stereotypes of anyone doing erotic based work are strong and negative in regular company.  It's a provocative thing in the mainstream and again it's easy to get thrown into the heap - that all people who do sensual work are doing something bad, have fallen in with the wrong crowd, have a drug problem, have mental problems or are desperate with no other options. That we are all the same - when we are really not at all. Actually I don't meet a lot of women in any of the erotic services who fall under that category. A lot of it is simply BS.  But hey,  when I am out I'm just out to relax and have a good time and enjoy myself. Not open a can of worms.  I don't feel like waving my big Tantra flag all the time.  I'd rather just do my thing in my little secret garden - in this sweet little slice of the world.  Allow someone to work out their issues about people in the field with someone else. I'm too busy on the dance floor. I'm out for a good time. And I also value my privacy and my clients privacy. I like operating in a space where there is a certain sacredness and spaciousness because it hasn't been absorbed into the a certain banality of the modern mainstream. There's a lot of peace and quiet there.

 But, it is frustrating sometimes because the assumptions are so far from my world. It's the total opposite.   With all of my friends in the field there is a very strong desire towards education, towards healthy, blissful, clean living, and towards exploring personal and spiritual development and a passion for people to get to express themselves freely and authentically.  We get together and talk about yoga, meditation, personal development, healthy living and the latest Tantra classes we've taken and what we learned that will help our clients. It's all quite sweet and fun and oddly wholesome- even when it's "Dark" (like a” Dark Tantra" session). We are interested in putting the self-awareness, personal growth, epic variety and range of expression, and an innocent, spiritually integrated depth back into sensual expression and exploration. That's our goal and intention. Period.

Or, the other side of it is that what the people are saying who actually work in the different aspects of the industry has a huge variety to it - a very wide range of reasons but the mainstream is just pushing a single overall image - as stereotyping tends to do. And also they get stamped as this being their whole identity. I saw a great documentary on pornography where the Porn Stars interviewed had all of these different feelings about it, much of it authentically positive for them - but when the supposed outside experts of the porn industry - none of whom have actually done anything that they are professing to be experts about - had nothing but the most morose, negative, and heavy-handed things to say about it.  It just makes me laugh because it's just silly, but what's not funny about it is the disrespect it gives to the women who are having a genuinely positive experience. Their voices need to be heard and honored and respected.

Someone once told me "Thank you for keeping me safe. I could be out there tonight relieving stress by drinking a lot and partying too hard.  But, I am here with someone who I know cares about me, who is teaching me something, who is helping me to feel peaceful and relaxed in such a healthy way and I am going to go home feeling better - even more relaxed and happy then if I went out drinking all night. And wake up a whole lot happier too.  So, Thank you."   And truly at the end of the day it really doesn't matter what the assumptions of a general population are. If our clients are happy, if they get it, that's all that matters.


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