Diva vs GoddessCategory: General   Jan 17th 2011  09:42AM   0

I was thinking today about what Tantra has taught me about relating. Not just in intimate relationships but with the world at large. For women, there are ladies who are considered divas. There  is the hetero man equivalent but I don't really know what the name of it would be - I think it might involve the letters A and S.   It's all about their happiness. When they are happy, they don't really share it with anyone.  They don't brighten up a room when they walk into it. They suck the air out of it instead.  As long as their happy that's all that matters. And if they are not, someone else better do something to make them happy again. I recently saw an ad for the mogul Kimora's reality show that said something like "It's her fairy tale and it's happily ever after. Or else."  This is the Diva and it is exhausting - to be one and to be around one.

You can also feel this with people who are annoyingly happy. It's like their happiness has this hard wall around it and they are not sensitive to where other people are at.  It's more of a "Don't rain on my parade!" aggressive kind of happiness that can feel lonely or irritating to be around. It's the people who insist on gunning you down with their cheer when you are feeling down. Or they just don't read where people are at - like maybe you don't want to party like a rockstar every night or sing Glee karaoke one more time!

Then, there are the people who do light up a room. Or who you feel better when you spend time with them if you are down. Or the one who seems like being in a good mood is typical for them but you always feel like you can be yourself around them. They are sensitive to where you are at without joining you in a bad mood.  You can be wherever you are at but often feel better around them.

What's happening here? What is the difference? Why are they happy but you feel uplifted instead of frustrated around them?  A few things are going on here. One is that the happiness is truly internal. The aggressively happy people don't have real happiness. They are holding onto it too hard. Once you know it's an inside job you don't need to grasp it so hard. You cultivate it internally. And you aren't afraid of feeling whatever is there because your feelings don't define you - they just point you somewhere. You get a solid core that's rooted so life can just be as it is. You find that beauty and radiance and joy within.  So it becomes a water you swim in - not something you get or hold onto.  The other difference is that because you know it's an inside job, you know all of those qualities are also in others. So, you just see those qualities in others naturally. Since you also know they are far more than what they are feeling at the moment - you can just be with all of it.  People who have high emotional intelligence are masters at how to share themselves in this positive way.

From a woman's perspective in simple terms we could call this the difference between being a diva and a goddess. The Goddesses and Gods in spiritual traditions represent qualities that are within everyone. They embody that quality while recognizing that it is a quality of all. It's like rain or sunshine - it gets on everyone.   In Tantra, we learn how to embody this way of being in the world.  Pretty darn wonderful.


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